holding out hope there’s a light at the end
of this rail-tie and rope so i can stop pretending
i’m not scared of the punchline to jokes about death
just to find there’s no reason for any of it
and you’ll pray to god
and i’ll play an irreverent song
just to spite what i can’t understand
it brings me back to that place where i said
the ceiling fan was calling out my name
alas, a few more times around the sun
has taught me not to feel shame
this time i let it stay
this time i got to know it like a date on a grave
i haven’t carved out yet beneath my own name
holding out hope there’s a light at the end
of this ekg scope so i can stop pretending
i’m not scared of the flatline, the note marks your death
just to find there’s no reason but there’s gotta be
i’ll find it
and you’ll pray to god
and i’ll play an irreverent song
just to spite what I can’t understand
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